the beauty of not knowing
I have a rather detailed idea of how I want my life to turn out. The places I want to visit, the things I want to accomplish, the kind of home I'd like to live in. I have Pinterest boards dedicated to futures that don't exist yet. Some of them are quite specific, down to the furniture.
And while I find planning my future incredibly exciting, I wonder if there's something equally wonderful about not knowing what comes next.
I think about all the things in my life that I never saw coming. People I hadn't met yet who would eventually become important to me. Places I had no intention of visiting that ended up meaning something. Interests I stumbled into by accident that somehow became part of who I am.
None of those things were on the itinerary.
Which makes me wonder how many wonderful things are waiting for me that I haven't even thought to want yet.
I suppose that's the trouble with planning a life. We can only imagine a future using what we already know. I can dream about Paris because I know Paris exists. I can picture a beautiful home because I've seen enough of them to know what I like. But what about the places I've never heard of? The people whose names mean absolutely nothing to me right now? The things I'll someday love that I currently know nothing about?
I find that thought strangely comforting.
Of course, uncertainty isn't always romantic. Some of the things I never saw coming were things I would have done anything to avoid. Life has surprised me in ways that were considerably less charming than an unexpected trip or a new friendship. I know better than to assume that everything unplanned will be wonderful.
Still, I don't want the difficult surprises to make me afraid of all the others.
I want to make plans. I want to work toward things, book the flights, save the money, and get excited about whatever version of the future I've currently invented.
But I also want to leave some room for life to interrupt me.
Maybe ten years from now I'll be living somewhere I haven't considered, doing something I don't even know I'm interested in yet, surrounded by people I haven't met.
And maybe I'll look back at all the plans I'm making today and smile at how little I knew.
I hope I get some of the things I'm dreaming about.
I also hope I get a few things I never would have thought to dream of.