i would never
“I would never” is such a confident thing to say
about a life you have never had to live.
I used to say it easily.
I would never stay.
I would never forgive that.
I would never let myself become like that.
I would never make that choice.
And maybe I meant it.
But I was imagining myself
in someone else’s circumstances
while still getting to be me.
With my experiences.
My limits.
My support system.
Everything I knew then.
I gave myself all of my advantages
and none of theirs.
Life has a strange way
of making certainty embarrassing.
You find yourself understanding things
you once thought were impossible to understand.
Making exceptions
you swore you would never make.
Needing the same grace
you were once reluctant to give.
And suddenly,
“I would never” becomes
“I understand how someone could.”
Maybe that’s one of the quieter ways
life humbles us.
Not by proving that everything is excusable,
but by reminding us
how little we actually know
about what it takes to be another person.
There are still things
I hope I would never do.
I’m just less interested now
in making promises
on behalf of a version of myself
who has never been tested.
Maybe “I would never”
isn’t always conviction.
Sometimes,
it’s just inexperience
speaking with remarkable confidence.